Ling Yao's Parties And Why They're Terrible
by Sokkalovr1
Summary: Ed convinces Al to go to a party. Someone spiked the punch, and things go awry...


"Oh, come on, Al!" Ed whined. "It's just a party. May might be there…." Ed waggled his eyebrows mischievously.

"Brother! We're just friends!" Al pouted, a light blush coloring his cheeks. Ed laughed.

"Yeah, okay, and Winry and I are married and have two kids." Ed scoffed. "As if." He crossed his arms when Al gave him a look.

"I wish you would just admit you have feelings for her." Al muttered. Ed looked up, confused.

"What'd you say? You talk too quietly." Ed moved closer. Al simply smiled.

"Nothing." Al paused for a moment. "Fine. We'll go to the party. But if Ling so much as mention anything about alcohol-"

"I know, I know. We're leaving." Ed turned to leave and waved Al's words off. "I'm gonna go get ready. You should too. You wanna look good for May." Ed scurried out of the room before Al could throw anything at him.

Alphonse sighed. His brother was an idiot. A perceptive, emotionally constipated idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.

The party started out quiet and slightly awkward before Ling managed to finally find his boom box and speakers. Soon enough, everyone was dancing and talking, and enjoying the snacks.

Maybe a little too much.

"Hey Al, let's go jump into the pool together!" Ling came around, obviously a little tipsy, and slung his arm around Al's shoulders with a dopey grin.

"Ling, you don't have a pool." Al informed him.

Ling looked confused. "Are you sure? There's one in the bathroom…" Ling was then stolen by a sober Lan Fan. She gave the tall boy an apologetic look and took Ling to the couch to sit down, where he tried to kiss her. She responded by handing him a glass of water and some pills (which Al later found out were sedation pills) and after a few minutes, the party's host was sound asleep.

Lan Fan approached Al again. "Someone spiked the punch. Haven't found out who yet, but whoever it is is going to be in some serious trouble." Lan Fan told him, scanning the room for any possible perpetrators. Al simply nodded.

II should probably go look for brother/I, he thought absently. He thanked Lan Fan for the warning, and hurried to go find Ed.

He found him quite easily.

"I AM THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST! HEAR ME ROAR!" Ed yelled from the top of the kitchen counter. IAh, hell. Pinako's not gonna be happy…/I

"Ed! Ed, you need to get down!" Al pushed through the small crowd of teenagers to get to Ed, who hadn't seemed to hear him. "Dammit, Edward!" Al finally reached the counter, then reached for his brother, who finally noticed him.

"Hey, Al! Join me! We can rule the world together!" Ed slurred, attempting to reach for his brother, but instead ended up toppling over onto him.

"Ack! Ed!" Alphonse picked him and his brother up, who swayed almost immediately upon being upright.

"Why is everything spinning?" Ed asked, then drooped onto Al's arm.

"It's because you're drunk." Ed looked up at him blearily. "You drank the punch didn't you?"

Ed blinked. "Yes." Ed suddenly started looking very green. Oh _hell_ no. Not today.

"Let's get you to a bathroom. Now." Al practically dragged Edward into a bathroom, holding him at arms length the whole time, because he was not going to get vomit all over his new sweater. "Now, Ed, meet toilet. Toilet meet vomit." Ed looked slightly confused for a moment. He soon realized what he meant as he doubled over the toilet, retching into it mercilessly. Al simply held the hair that had fallen out of his braid out of his face; he knew Ed would hate it if he got chunks of whatever he ate today in it.

When Ed was finished, he shakily got up and seemed a little bit more sober.

"I wann' go home." He mumbled, holding his stomach. Al pulled Ed's arms around him for support and he made their way back to the party.

"Alright, brother." Al led them through the party, past the kitchen where someone else was yelling, "I AM THE FLAME ALCHEMIST! WATCH ME BURN!" and had actually set themselves on fire. Al calmly grabbed the nearest pitcher of water he could find and threw it at the alleged 'Flame Alchemist,' whatever that meant. He could hear distinctive 'Aww's throughout the crowd, but he figured putting out the fire was better than burning someone to death and possibly burning Ling's house down.

They made their way past Ling, who was still passed out on the couch, but had some interesting drawings on his face and arms. Someone had drawn an eye patch and a mustache on his face, while his arms had 'Argh!' and 'Don't touch me booty!' in various places on both arms and a nicely drawn parrot on his left arm.

When they finally reached the door, Al glanced back and affirmed that no, May was nowhere to be seen. IGood. God know what would happen if she got drunk./I Al shuddered at the thought.

Ed and Al left the party, Al praying Ed wouldn't get sick again on the long trek home, and Ed, who had perked up considerably since going outside, had started to walk on his own, without his brother's help, and was now walking in repetitive circles. Al made sure to stop him, because that was a sure-fire way to get sick again, and he didn't need that.

Al kept one hand on his brother's shoulder the entire way home to make sure he didn't wander off without him noticing. Ed was continuously humming off-key, and while it annoyed Al to no end, he was content to know that at least Ed was not as drunk as he was before. More tipsy than anything now. Though, he'd still be feeling it in the morning. And Al would be there to give him Tylenol and a large pitcher of water next to the bucket he'd probably be throwing up in.

"Well, I can't really blame you, you weren't the one who spiked the punch." Al sighed, Ed still happily humming off-key.

By the time they got home, it was pitch black outside, and Al was struggling to see anything. When Den walked up, however, that helped immensely. The dog happily guided them to their humble abode, though it wouldn't be humble for long.

Ed made to go up the steps and tripped over seemingly nothing, and Al ended up having to pick him up as he had, apparently, fallen asleep.

"At least we're home now…" Alphonse muttered to himself as Ed mumbled something about 'homunculi'. God knew what that was, and Al was sure he didn't want to find out. He also mumbled about not being short, which actually made sense, because he was actually a bit short. Regardless to the year that Edward had over Alphonse, the younger of the two had gained more of the height gene than his older brother, who was at least a head shorter than him. IBut what Ed lacks in height, he makes up for it with enthusiasm,/I Al thought as he dragged his brother up the steps.

A light flipped on, which made it easier to see the looming shadow of Aunt Pinako with her pipe, puffing away with her hands on her hips. Al blanched, and Ed woke up just in time for Pinako to sigh.

"I'll get the Tylenol ready." Was all she said, and Al sighed in relief. Ed simply dozed off again. Al sighed and adjusted Ed, then walked into the house, gingerly putting him on the couch in the living room. He found a blanket and laid it over him, then pulled his hair out of it's braid; he hated sleeping in it. It always left it wavy in the morning, which he said made him look like a girl. Al didn't think so, but there's no use trying to reason with Ed.

Alphonse sighed as he walked to his room. IThe worst will be in the morning when Winry wakes up./I

And he went to sleep with that thought circling his head.

It was definitely worse when Winry woke up. First came the indignant and groggy "Hey!" from Ed, then came the "What the hell is Iwrong/I with you?!" from Winry.

And so it spiraled from there. Al simply turned over, pulled his pillow Iand/I his blanket over his head, and went back to sleep. IRevenge, brother./I


End file.
